At least 99% of parents are super lovely.
It's just that last 1% that might attempt to make your life hell.
Whether it's because they don't believe that their angel baby could possibly be the hellion that he or she most certainly is in your classroom, or they think their angel should get special treatment - they can make your day unpleasant.
Like going over your head to complain directly to the principal or superintendent about you... that level of unpleasant 😬
#beenthere
I was kind of terrified of negative interactions with parents for my first few years of teaching, but I've learned some tips that will smooth out just about any situation.
1. Stay calm & kill them with kindness.
Do not give any parents a piece of your mind.
No matter how much you want to.
And oooooooooh you're gonna want to.
Do. Not. Do. That.
Be the calmest calm and the nicest nice you've ever been.
Tell them you understand, apologize for any misunderstanding, and tell them how much you appreciate them bringing this to your attention.
Tell them how important it is to you that a child's home and school are working together.
Even if you've had a stressful day and the last thing you need is one more person to get on your last nerve, the situation will be resolved more quickly and less stressfully if you are as calm and polite as possible.
Then call your best friend later and scream into the phone about how terrible this parent is.
2. Document everything.
Start an Excel spreadsheet or Google Doc or use an actual piece of paper and write down every interaction you have (and had) with this parent.
Did you speak with this parent over the phone?
Write down the date, topic, and any important things you or s/he said.
Did you write this parent an email (or receive an email)?
Copy it into your file or print it and save it in your notebook.
Keep copies of any and all contact.
So if and when this parent complains to the administration about something you absolutely did not say or do, you can show admin the email and they can explain to the parent what was in fact in that email.
Or if you need to show a history of this person being a jerk to you, then you have the documentation to support it.
3. Get a meeting in person with admin present
99.9% of the time, people who are defensive or rude over the phone or in emails will be much nicer to your face.
Again, not every time. But almost all of them for sure.
Tell the parent how much you would like to resolve this situation and schedule an in-person meeting with an administrator present.
Admin needs to be a third party witness so that it's not your word against Mr. and Mrs. CrazyPants' word.
Remember that everyone is looking out for the student's best interest and what s/he needs to be successful in school or in your class.
No matter what the situation is, it should at least be resolved by this meeting.
It can be a terrible headache when you have some sort of conflict with a parent, but it's going to happen and it's best you are prepared.
And after all is said and done, drink a bottle of wine. Wine is always the answer 🤪
If you have any others suggestions, please share in the comments below!
Great advice for dealing with those difficult parents! I tend to send emails because those can be printed out & saved for verification of exactly what was said when. It is probably more useful to make the phone call home, but I just hate the possibility of "he said/she said" -- I want documentation, LOL!
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